I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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