Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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