I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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