Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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