Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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