How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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