i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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