Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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