check it out our google latitudes are spooning
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
