Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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