The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
