when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
