best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
time to smoke my breakfast
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
