Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
