i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
