ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
