Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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