Porn is love you can see.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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