I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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