i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
