meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The adults are the big ones right?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
