happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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