We're like a lot better than the average bears
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
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