How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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