Apparently you make a good broom.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
