yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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