We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
