It's a beautiful day for a hangover
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
