I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
