yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
