You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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