I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
