I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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