Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
