So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
