I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
