Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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