is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
