is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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