i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
should my penis look like a turkey
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
