She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
