i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
