Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
