Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Randomize
