We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
