So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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