i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize