and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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