You're completely useless in the revolution.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
