I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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