i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
